How can I pay for my order?
We accept all major credit cards, PayPal and Google Checkout.

How long will it take me to get my order?
Orders from TheHeckler.com are shipped exclusively by USPS. Subscription orders will begin with the next issue. Our goal is to ship all shirt orders within five days. Sometimes it will be shorter and sometimes longer. We'll email you a tracking number when your order ships.
Whom should I contact about the status of my order?
Please check log back into The Heckler Store and check the Order Status page. Otherwise please feel free to email us directly. The companies that collect funds for us (PayPal and Google Checkout) won't be able to help you with issues like order status so please contact us instead.

What is your return policy?
We don't have one! Just kidding. If you order something and it doesn't fit or isn't what you wanted, that sucks but we'll totally help fix the situation with an exchange or refund on anything that hasn't been worn and still has its tags. Just email store@theheckler.com for info. The customer is always right, right?

I really want to receive periodic email updates from The Heckler. How do I do that?
Glad you asked! There are two ways: 1. Sign up here or 2. Buy something from The Heckler Store and we'll add you to our list. You can opt out at anytime, but we seriously doubt it will ever come to that.

I have an awesome idea for a shirt. Can I submit a design?
We don't accept any unsolicited designs. Before you send us anything, email us and we'll get back to you. If you do wind up submitting a design, please understand there's no guarantee we'll use it so don't get upset if we don't like it.

I'm trying to use a discount code but it's not taking. Am I doing something wrong?
After you input the code, click "Apply." If it's still not working and you're 100 percent sure the code hasn't expired, email us.

Dude. You guys are hilarious.
That's not really a question, but thanks.

What if my question isn't answered by this exhaustive list?
Email store@theheckler.com and we'll get back to you shortly.